Weigh-In Wednesday

Yes, it is time to bring back Weigh-In Wednesdays! 

The scale has not been my friend as of late, but I do want to hold myself accountable. And I find that putting it out there for all the world to read is the best way for me to do that. 

Two weeks ago, I weighed in at 188.6 lbs. I was devastated. How could I let this happen? How could I get so lazy and careless with my eating again? After all the questions, the self shaming and of course the tears, I knew a change needed to happen. 

Food choices have been my biggest downfall. I knew that I needed to be making better food choices and that meal prep would be key. The last two weeks I have made meal plans for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I made lists for the grocery store that included only healthy items. I meal prepped like crazy. And most importantly, I stuck to those meals and stayed within my calories. 

My workouts are becoming more consistent again too. I've been getting back to TRX classes one or two times a week and lifting weights two to three times a week. We have been trying to get out and hike more and more and we have been trail running more frequently. 

Just in these two weeks, I have already seen a change. Mentally, I can see that I am getting back on the right path. And physically I am feeling better and stronger with each workout. And with each great food choice and each workout, I can feel my momentum picking up steam. And I'm loving it! 

I'm happy to report that I am already seeing all of these changes on the scale too. I stepped on this morning and I am down to 186.2 lbs! Two lbs in two weeks. I will take it! I'm happy to see the number going down and it is giving me more and more momentum to keep going. I've done it once, and I'm going to do it again! 

Project List

Projects. Where do I even begin? 

I have a million projects floating around in my head that I would like to accomplish. I mean who doesn't?! But realistically speaking, I know I can't accomplish all of them by the end of the year. So I need to prioritize. 

A lot of the projects I want to work on, have to do with preserving things that are very important to me and my family. After my Mom passed away, I brought home probably three boxes worth of pictures. And while letting them sit in the box requires way less time and effort, I don't want to take the chance that something may happen and they could be lost forever. Especially after my Dad almost lost his house to a fire earlier this year, it made me realize even more how much this needs to be done. 

I looked into the cost of having someone do it for me. I wanted to find someone local because I was worried about placing all of my pictures in the mail. That took a bit of time to even find someone local. But when I did, I quickly realized that it was going to more expensive than I even imagined. At $0.39 cents a photo, it was going to add up very quickly. 

So I did a little research and I bought a printer/scanner a few weeks ago, so now I need to start taking an hour or two every week to start scanning and sorting all of these photos. My hope is to be able to put them all on an external hard drive and put that in a fire safe so that if something ever does happen, we still have a digital copy of everything we had. I know this is going to take some time to complete. And to be honest I was hoping to have already gotten started on this one, but that has not happened. I know part of that is because I just can't bring myself to go through all of those pictures. But with time and some healing, I know I will get to it. 

Another project that I have been wanting to work on for years is going through all of my Mom's old cookbooks and recreating them. I had her cookbooks prior to her passing and they are falling apart. Pages are trying to fall out, the bindings are breaking, some recipes are barely readable because of things being spilled on them. You know, the usual things that happen when you constantly use and bake with the cookbook open. But I don't want to simply re-type them and bind them. I want to still use the old pages that hold all the love that she poured into each recipe she made. I want to be able to open that recipe and remember all the great times I had baking and cooking with her. I need to find a creative way to do that. I also have a few recipes of hers that aren't in those that I want to be able to add to it. Anyone have any creative suggestions for this?

I have a bunch of other mini projects that won't take as much time, but these two are the ones that I want to get done. They have sentimental value and that's a big driving factor. I'm hoping that as I get more and more of it completed that it will drive me to work harder to get them done.  Here's to hoping that I can complete these sometime this year. I know if I do, it will make me feel better. And who doesn't want to feel better. It's a win win! 

Accountability? Who Has Time For That?

Accountability. Great word, but I'm not so great at it. I'm gonna be honest, I know that I am struggling. Struggling with my eating. Struggling with consistently working out. That whole health and fitness area of my life is a mess.

I honestly never thought that I would be struggling again in this area. I had gotten my life together in this aspect. I was rocking it. And then all of a sudden I wasn't. I'm not even sure what happened that derailed me so badly. But it did and here I am once again feeling completely uncomfortable in my own skin. So uncomfortable that I have even been afraid to get back on the scale. I did a few months ago and I was back up over 180 lbs. WHAT?!!!! Yeah, that was a big eye opener. I need to get this shiz under control again. 

I've started focusing a lot on what I am eating. Trying to make better decisions. Trying to stay within my calories. The one thing that I am having a hard time giving up is coffee. That sweet delicious drink that keeps me from going bat shit crazy through out the day at work. I've switched to sugar free though, so that at least has cut some calories out, but I need to try and work on limiting it to once or twice a week instead of every day. Not only that, but it would be a huge cost savings as well. 

I've been trying to get back into the swing of consistent workouts too. We've been hiking a lot more and I know that is a big help. But my weight lifting three to four times a week hasn't been as consistent. So that is a big focus and goal for me for the next few weeks is to get back to those consistent workouts. I think once I get back into a good routine, hopefully I will get back to that mindset of loving my workouts and not wanting to skip them. And I know the weight will start coming off when that happens. 

It's a process and I'm taking the right steps, but it is going to take some time. I have to remember that part. It's not going to happen over night. It didn't happen overnight last time and I just need to trust myself and the process going forward. Here's to getting back on track! 

Pass the Coffee Please!!!!!!!!

While this weekend was an absolute blast, the exhaustion has set in and I'm in that state of needing coffee with my oxygen to keep myself moving. I'm channeling my inner Lorelai Gilmore this morning. She is one of my spirit animals after all. 

Another busy weekend in the books and this one was a special one. I had the pleasure of flying to Phoenix, AZ to see a very good friend of mine marry the love of her life. And her sister just happens to be my very best friend in the entire world, so getting to see her was a huge bonus to the weekend. It was a beautiful wedding and the Bride looked amazing! I am so happy that I was able to be there and to witness such an amazing event filled with so much love and happiness! 

Fast forward to today and I am still exhausted from the great, but crazy weekend. But it's time to start getting back into my routine for the week. Hopefully I can get back on track with everything and not lose an entire week to being exhausted. Especially because I have quite a bit to do at work this week. And I have another three day weekend coming up this weekend. The bearded one (my boyfriend) is taking me somewhere this weekend but he won't tell me where. It's a surprise! And it's driving me crazy!!! Haha! He said he would tell me on Friday. 

Okay, enough rambling for today. I'm gonna go shoot up my coffee through an IV and hopefully get some work done. Have a great Tuesday everyone! 

It's Been a While...

I was looking at my Facebook memories and I had a blog post pop up in my memories from 2011! I went back and read the post and realized how much I miss blogging. Even if no one is reading my posts, it was always a great outlet for me. And with everything that has happened in the last three months, I realize more now than ever, I need that outlet.

So, I'm back. Hopefully for a while.

The last three months have been the most heartbreaking, difficult and emotionally draining time of my life. That's not to say that I haven't had some good times in the last three months, but it has been a difficult time.

I lost my Mom to a heart attack on December 31st. She was only 55. It still seems so unreal to me. Even just typing the words "I lost my Mom" doesn't make it seem real.

Needless to say my emotions have been all over the place. The first month was nothing but tears and feeling lost. Hell, there are still lots of tears and that lost feeling, but it has gotten a little easier and not as frequent. I have breakdowns every now and then. Sometimes because of the most ridiculous thing. Take last night for example. I was taking something out of the oven and happened to be using a pot holder that she crocheted for me. I realized that I can't have her make me anymore of these and I burst into tears. After pulling myself together I quickly took every single pot holder out of the drawer that she made and put them away. I don't want to ruin them and not have that piece of her anymore. I'm sure at some point in the future I will pull them out and use them again, but right now, I can't bring myself to leave them out.

Me and My Mom

Losing my Mom is something that I never thought I would have to go through at such a young age. The one thing that makes it hurt the most is that she won't be here when I have kids. And that thought alone kills me every single day. I know that she is watching over all of us and that she will see them grow up, but it's not the same. It honestly feels like my family was robbed. We only had her for what seems like a short amount of time. I hope that with time, that feeling will fade, but right now, it's still too new and the wounds are still too deep.

That event alone would be enough to break someone. But unfortunately my family has been dealing with a little bit more on top of that. Three weeks ago a fire broke out on the military base near my Dad's house. It was very windy that day and it quickly got out of control. My Dad and Step Mom were forced to evacuate with their dog and their horses. They grabbed as much as they could, but of course didn't have enough time to grab everything that was important. Fortunately we found out the next morning that they did still have a house to go back to. The house had some damage from the heat of the fire coming up on the property. Although the house was okay, everything else around the property was destroyed. They lost two of their vehicles, a fishing boat that was handed down to my Dad and my Brother from my Grandpa, ATV's, trailers, a 68' Mustang, the barn that housed the horses, sheds, and the list goes on. It was a devastating event for our family. But I am extremely thankful that they were able to evacuate safely and that they still have a home. And they are slowly starting to pick up the pieces, but it is going to be a process for sure.

Like I said, it has been a very difficult and heartbreaking start to the year. But I am hoping that the rest of the year is filled with lots of happy and positive experiences.

Source

Weigh-In-Wednesday

Going to be a short post this week, but wanted to make sure I am staying on track with these posts. More for me than anything else. Let's get down to it.

I did not meet my goal of getting under 170 this week. In fact I stayed exactly the same. But I will take that. I didn't go up and I have to remember that staying the same is better than gaining. And I honestly think I am holding on to some water because of how sore my muscles are this week. My legs feel like they are going to die!

Workouts were pretty consistent this past week. I feel like I am really getting into a great routine again. And I have really been trying to hit the cardio hard. I have two races coming up in the next month and they are both at least 12 miles long. I need to be running everyday. My legs have been getting so tight though from all of the running. I have been trying to stretch and foam roll, but I am not keeping up with it enough. Looks like that will be another goal for me for next week.

My eating has been way better too. I have been sticking to my calories and making healthier choices. I actually started low carb this week. I will cycle a week on and week off for the next month or so. We usually like to do low carb the week of our races and then carb hard the day before the race so that we have the proper fuel and energy levels for our races, so this will time out perfectly for that. 

 I want to be under 170 next week. I know I can get there. Just have to push harder. Something to work towards, right? 

Hope everyone is having a great week! 

Weigh-In-Wednesday

It's Wednesday! Thank goodness! This week needs to go by a little more quickly, but since it is Wednesday, it's time for Weigh-In-Wednesday. 

This week has been way better. My eating is getting better. I am exercising more and making sure that I hit my calorie burn. I have been incorporating more cardio into my daily exercise too which I think is really helping. 

I have been trying to stay away from the super sugary everything and trying to incorporate more fruits and veggies into my daily meals again. And honestly, I can already tell a difference. I know that sounds crazy, but when  you fuel your body with crap, you feel like crap. When you fuel your body with good foods, you feel amazing! 

Let's get down to the weight part. I weighed in this morning at 172.6. So I am down 2.2 lbs since last week. I will take that! I will take that all day long! I am happy to see the scale going back down, but I would feel so much more comfortable if I was out of the 170's. So that is my goal for next week. I want to be below 170 for next week's Weigh-In-Wednesday post. And long term, I want to be down to 165 by the time we run our next race which is on August 27th. The less weight I have to carry up the side of the mountains for this 12 mile race, the better! 

That's all I have for this post today. Short and sweet. Thanks for stopping by and hope you all have an amazing Wednesday!