Thursday, July 9, 2015

Big Changes

Where do I even begin?

Over the last few months I have been going through something that has changed me and will continue to change me. But the change that is going on in my life right now is for the absolute best. 

It took me a really long time to realize this, but I was very unhappy with my marriage. And for a while. I didn't like how it made me feel. I didn't like that I felt like I was alone. I didn't like that I felt like I didn't have a Husband and that what I really had was a roommate. And it didn't seem to matter how many times I brought  up some of the things that were bothering me, he just didn't seem to care that I was feeling like this. 

After a lot of soul searching, thinking and stressing and a zillion other feelings on my part and not knowing what else to do, I made a decision and I haven't looked back since. I decided that getting a divorce and not being together anymore was the best thing for me.

Was this decision easy? Not by any means. Am I being selfish because I only considered my feelings? Absolutely. But guess what? I need to to be selfish when it comes to me and my happiness. I need to be happy. Period. And for once in my life I am actually putting myself before everyone else and doing something for me. 

I can't even begin to tell you how many people want to make me feel bad for the decision that I have made. But guess what? I don't want to feel bad. And I don't feel bad. Why should I feel bad for doing what is best for me? Why should I feel bad for trying to make myself happy? Simple answer. I shouldn't feel bad. And I don't want to feel bad. That's why I made the decision that I did.

A lot has happened over the last few months but I can without a doubt say that I do not regret my decision at all. I am in such an amazing place that I know that it was what I needed to do for me. Don't get me wrong it has definitely been an emotional and stressful couple of months, but it is all part of the process.

And needless to say there are going to be some changes happening to this blog in the near future. A name change is first on the list. But I hope you stick around and continue following along on this new journey that I have embarked on.