Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Time to Be Real

It's time for me to be real. With myself more than anyone. I worked so hard for months to lose all of the weight I wanted to. And I accomplished that. And I am still really proud of that fact. But it is time for me to admit to myself and everyone else that I have been struggling lately. 

I have gained some of that weight back. Not a ton. But probably about 15 lbs. Now I know that some of you are thinking that 15 lbs isn't really that bad. But for me, it is enough to make me feel uncomfortable with myself again that I know that I need to step up and do something. And it scares me. I worked so hard to get to where I was. And I can't go back to that person. I won't go back to that person I was before. That person was miserable and hated how she looked and felt. 

That is hopefully where this blog comes in. I need a way to hold myself accountable again. I need something that I can come to on a daily or weekly basis to put it all out there. My struggles, my triumphs, all of it. If I don't get this under control now, I feel like I may end up exactly back where I started. And that is not an option in my book. 

I can say that I have kept up with some of the good habits that I fell into during my journey. I am still working out. I haven't been working out as hard though.That right there is an area for improvement. I need to up the intensity of my workouts again. I need to make sure that I am hitting my calorie burn every day. No more days of not hitting or even being close. I need to get off my ass and make it happen. 

One area of my workouts that I have been struggling with is that I have had a hard time finding something to fill that void for the days that I did Zumba. It took me a while, but I have a new workout love, and that love is TRX. If you aren't sure what it is, it is essentially suspension training. All body weight type exercises. It is amazing! There is a TRX class at my gym on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and I am addicted. And it just so happens that it is filling that same time slot and void that was so vacant after I quit teaching Zumba. Bonus! 

My biggest struggle has been my eating. I do great some days, and then horrible the next. I need to get back to eating clean and loving it. There for about a year, I didn't crave the junk. I found healthy alternatives to things that I used to eat all the time. And somehow over the last year, I have kind of gone away from that a bit. I need to quit making excuses and just do it. So starting today, no more sugary coffees (I will miss you Dutch Bros), no more eating out at junk places. No more junk food. No more ice cream and chocolate. It all has to go. Will I allow myself to cheat every now and then? Absolutely. I have to. Or I will eventually go insane. But a cheat meal needs to quit turning into a cheat day(s) or cheat weeks and months. 

I'm determined and focused to get this weight back off. I know that I can do it. I have done it before and I will do it again. I want to be leaner and have more muscle definition again. I want to be the healthiest version of me. And guess what? I will. Today is a new day. And it is always a great day to get better! 


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