Saturday, May 14, 2011

Back In Town

Happy Saturday everyone! I hope that everyone is enjoying their weekend so far. Well I got back into town last night around 5ish. Some of you may be wondering where I was. Well, as many of you know, I lost my Grandmother in December. She meant the world to me and things have been really difficult without her. Well, this past Friday was her funeral service. The place where the service was being held was outside so we decided to wait until it warmed up a bit to hold it. So Thursday morning I rented a car, went and picked up one of my best friends, Lacey and her dog Buster, who was so amazing and said she would go with me, and we took off for Protection, KS.

Grandma holding her Great Grandaughter,
Kelsi when she was born in 2008
Now, if you have never heard of Protection, KS, don't be surprised, haha! It is the smallest town EVER! I don't even get cell phone reception there. But that is where my Grandma was living and my Aunt and my Cousin are still living there. The trip took about 6 hours or so and it was so windy the whole way there. But once we got there it was nice seeing some of my family and catching up with everyone.

Grandma getting ready to hang
a Christmas wreath on
Grandpa's space on the wall
Friday morning we woke up and headed to Fort Dodge, KS which is just a few minutes outside of Dodge City, KS. Grandma's service was held at the Fort Dodge Veterans Cemetery. My Grandpa was laid to rest there and so my Grandma had a place there with him. It was definitely a very difficult day, especially when I had to help put my Grandma's Urn into the wall. It was like I was having to say a final goodbye and it took all of what I had to be able to do this. It is taking a lot for me just to write this post. Losing my Grandma has been one of the most difficult things I have ever had to go through and some days I wonder if it is ever going to be okay? Am I ever going to feel at peace with her being gone? Why did it have to be her? Why couldn't she have lived longer? Why did she have to get lung cancer? I ask myself these questions almost everyday.

Now if any of you have read the very first post that I ever did, you know that butterflies have a very special meaning in my family, which is why my blog is named what it is. If you haven't read it, let me give you the short version. Every time that someone in my family has passed away, we have had butterflies appear shortly after they have passed and some of them have appeared at their funeral services. Well, it was a really crappy day yesterday in Kansas, so I wasn't surprised when one didn't appear. After Lacey and I left the service to head back home, we stopped in Lamar, CO. When we were walking into McDonalds' to get something to drink, a small pale yellow butterfly flew right by us. I knew as soon as I saw it that it was Grandma telling me that she was okay and the she was happy now. I am trying to take comfort in that fact, but it still doesn't make it any easier.

I'm hoping that since we have now laid her to rest, that I will start to be okay with her leaving, but I know that it is going to take me some time. I am sure that I am not alone in how I am feeling about this. I know that many people have lost people that they love, but it is so hard to compare something like this because everybody's situation is different.

Almost all of the Grandkids and Great Grandkids and
Grandma at my College Graduation in Durango.
May of 2010

Thank you everyone for reading this and I especially want to say thank you to Lacey for going with me. You gave me a lot of strength with you just being there. Thank you so much for being such a great friend. Well, that is enough blubbering for now. I hope that everyone is enjoying their weekend.


  1. i love you!!! you know ill go any where with you!! thats what im here for Love ya girl!

  2. I'm sorry Megan. Making me cry... It will get easier, believe me. Just don't think about the "why me's/why her" and think "it is all okay now".

    Love ya,

    PS I WANT THAT PICTURE! I think I"m going to give you a memory card to put all your pictures of. I love you!

  3. I love you! call me if you need to talk. I miss you!


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